Huzzah! A Day at the Ren Fair

Picture it: England, 1539.

This weekend, I checked another challenge off of my "25 Hard Things in 2025" list by taking a trip back in time at the Maryland Renaissance Festival! 

I've never been to a Ren Fair before, so I'm lucky that I have friends with some impressive Renaissance, theater, and LARPing pedigrees to show me the ropes: Tessa is a curator of historic textiles and dress and worked for years as a historic reenactor; Sam is a theater buff and talented seamstress (picture quoting Shakespeare from memory and sewing her own costume); Julia is one of the most well-read people I know, especially when it comes to Medieval and Renaissance poetry, and grew up going to the Maryland festival; and Corrine is a theater professional, playwright, and—the pièce de résistance—spent the first part of this summer working as a Ren faire cast member! They had us in stitches when they adopted their town crier persona to read the official lore of this year's festival on the drive up. (I had no idea so much happened in 1539!)

We visited the festival during Myth & Magic Weekend and tried to dress appropriately. My Celtic-ish coronet was the most overtly themed part of my ensemble, although the dried orange slices hanging from my ears felt vaguely magical(?). Tessa dressed much more on-theme as Strega Nona, replete with her magical pasta pot full of never-ending spaghetti (aka yards of stringy white yarn). Corrine and Sam stitched their own tops, an incredibly impressive feat, and I loved Sam's big purple wizard hat. 

Admiring the costumes worn by other patrons is a major activity at the Faire. We saw vikings, plague doctors chasing plague-infested rats, fairies, princesses, knights, barons, wizards, pirates, bananas, centaurs, dragons, serfs, burlap sacks, Fiona and Shrek, and the Pope. 

Eating is another major pastime and I was pleasantly surprised by the variety available. We'd been at the festival for maybe 10 minutes before Corrine and I stumbled upon the pickle and pretzel cart. Obviously a walking pickle was in order. The heat was particularly brutal in the sun on Saturday and, as I discovered during the Cap2Cap, pickles are quite hydrating! 

Over the course of the day, we also tucked into some funnel cake fries as we watched two fools perform a pantomime, tried to stay cool with ice cream sandwiches and pink lemonade, and enjoyed a lunch of spinach and meat pies, fried jalapeño mac and cheese bites, a scotch egg, and a (quite suggestive looking, might I add) sausage on a stick. 

I've been a pescatarian for over 10 years now. Still, there is something quite compelling about the idea of a turkey leg! I was genuinely hoping one of the meat-eaters of our party would enjoy one so I could live vicariously through them, but it was too hot to eat such a large quantity of food. Sigh. Another dream deferred.

There are so many things to see and do at the festival and we only scratched the surface! We caught some of Jacques ze Whipper's midday show, lobbed insults against the King, had our fortunes read by the Mayoress, and perused as many of the adorable shops that dot the landscape as possible. Unlike some other fairs (apparently), Maryland's festival grounds are permanent, meaning the buildings and structures stay up year-round and the shops move in every year. I really like that element because it lends a more immersive feeling to the whole event. I feel like I didn't see too many people on their phones as we walked around, either, which was really nice.

My favorite event, hands-down, was the joust. Challenged by a visiting Andalusian princess, four champions on horseback vied to win a map to El Dorado, the legendary City of Gold. A campy storyline to be sure, but there is nothing staged about the action in the arena when the mounted knights actually compete for the favor of the crowd. Tessa, Sam, & I went hoarse rooting for Prince Miguel. He might've been the contender assigned to our section, but I'm completely unbiased when I laud his undeniable charisma and the enviable fruit of his haircare routine. 

Not long after we ended our food tour through Revel Grove with frozen bananas dipped in chocolate and covered with chopped Maraschino cherries, enjoyed while we took in Ses Carny's daredevil knife show, the skies opened up and sweet, cool rain drenched us. It was a welcome relief after such a hot, dusty day on our feet, TBH, and we giggled all the way to the car.

In an ideal world, we would've stayed longer. The shows get bawdier as the day goes on, obviously the weather is cooler, and the final joust of the day is, apparently, a FIGHT TO THE DEATH. Alas! We had a long drive back home to Richmond and we were all pretty pooped. There's a reason the fair apparently gets more crowded in October, when the weather is cooler (although tickets for this weekend sold out after just 24 hours!). 

What is a group of tired, hungry, rain-soaked Ren Fest goers to do but seek the nearest stack of pancakes? And so we did! 

We were about halfway home by the time we pulled into this IHOP and everyone was extremely normal about encountering four damp sorceresses from the 14th century. I can't explain why, but group breakfast-for-dinner at the end of a singular event (ren fest, choir concert, theater show, tech rehearsal, swim meet etc.) has a unique patina of hilarity, absurdity, and meaning. You can feel yourself creating a memory that you'll feel nostalgia for while you're still in it, you know? 

That night at IHOP was like that—the four of us tucked into a slightly too-small booth so we were pressed close together, cupping mugs of tea, tucking into mozzarella sticks, waffles, pancakes, and veggie sausage as we laughed, shared stories, and bantered with the bemused waitstaff. I feel so warm when people from different parts of my life come together and get along like a house on fire...I'm so grateful to know & love such cool, creative, intelligent people!

Maryland Renaissance Festival, I'll definitely be back.