it's (just) Kate: life

Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

A Valentine's Day Getaway (6 months later)

August 18, 2026

We're ignoring the fact that this happened six months and four days ago, okay?

I don't remember ever caring all that much about traditional pageantry of Valentine's Day. The elementary school era cards are super cute, candy is a great gift any day of the year, and the color scheme is fab, though hardly relegated to that time of year (in my wardrobe, anyway.) I'm not a Valentine's Day hater, by any means! It just was never the most important or meaningful day of the year for me, the way birthdays and anniversaries are. (And, TBH, a lot of the Valentine's Day hoopla has always seemed extremely Straight, which has never been appealing to me.)

And yet! Valentine's Day 2026 was THE quintessential, romcom-esque, V-Day getaway. Even I must admit, Nora Ephron kinda has a point about how f*cking cute a Valentine's Day can be.

New Person (M) and I decided to spend the weekend in Staunton, Virginia–an adorable, antiques-filled town in the Shenandoah Valley. I wasn't planning to buy a new outfit for the occasion...but I couldn't stop ogling this rose dress from Farm Rio. Tiers of fluttery layers like this aren't usually my thing, but this one was far too pretty to pass up.

We stayed at the Blue Ridge Abbey, the cutest bed & breakfast, in Buena Vista—an even tinier town than Staunton. The whole town was very sleepy that weekend, and M & I were the only guests at the Abbey. A marvelous excuse to explore the halls with complete abandon!

Would you forgive me if I said this was the only photo I have of our gorgeous room from that weekend? M asked me to be their Valentine via Taco Bell, so it seemed only right that it was our snack on the drive up.

A quick moment to give M their flowers (as it were). With all the appropriate pageantry of a new couple celebrating their first Valentine's Day, I spent several January weekends making M a Valentine's-themed advent calendar. It was an intense craft, okay—I was picking red glitter out of my carpet for weeks! I was convinced I was going to win sappiest (and therefore, best) gift.

Apparently, M was hell-bent on outdoing me. Not only did they show up at my door the morning before we left for our weekend away with a dozen roses, a huge box of chocolate, and a teddy bear-shaped balloon, I looked up from my perch in their passenger seat on Sunday night to catch them emerging from the Buena Vista Food Lion with a bottle of wine (the objective) and ANOTHER bouquet of roses and EVEN MORE chocolate. When I asked, gobsmacked, what they were doing, they just shrugged. "I didn't get you flowers or chocolate here." That night was really one of those romcom, pinch-me moments—up to my earlobes in bubbles, soaking in our room's Cadillac-sized bathtub, eating chocolate truffles, and drinking cheap wine. Literally what could be better?

I digress. We arrived in town on Saturday, actual-factual Valentine's Day, and only had a few hours to relax before we needed to get dressed and out the door for our much-anticipated reservation at Zynodoa.

No hint of hyperbole: we weren't even done with our appetizers yet when I put this meal on my "Best Meals of 2026" list. Seriously, this dinner was six months ago and my mouth is watering just thinking about it.

We started with a delightful glass of champagne—which turned out to be a long-distance gift from an acquaintance of M who heard we were having Valentine's Day dinner here and called the restaurant to buy us a drink! Isn't that the chicest and sweetest thing ever?! Definitely tucking that idea into my back pocket. Then, we absolutely devoured a bruléed cornbread that made me wish I wasn't such a careful flosser, if only to retain one measly little kernel of its greatness in a molar for later. Alas!

The rest of the meal featured trout, scallops (this has really been the Year of Scallops for me, personally....more on that later), M had steak, and we shared a dessert that has escaped our memory in every detail except for the exquisite banana flavor—a recommendation of the lovely couple in their 40s sitting next to us.

We were lucky enough to sit at a table sandwiched between two other couples enjoying a Valentine's dinner, and the ambiance of Zynodoa fostered plenty of cutie little conversations. The couple sitting to our right used to live in Richmond, and their glowing recommendation of Edo's Squid finally motivated me to get off my ass and try it. (Of course, it's now become my favorite restaurant in Richmond, and I'm angry that I wasted 4 entire years of prime real estate! (My apartment was 4 blocks from Edo's. Now that I've moved, it's a drive. (Oh, also, I moved! More on that later, too. (Is this too many simultaneous parentheticals?))))

The next day, we had homemade waffles in bed at the Abbey and, when we finally did get up, spent the day wandering through gorgeous little shops and antique stores. One of our favorite stops was Elli Bubble, the cutest little love-filled bubble tea shop, where you could make & send Valentine's cards! I sent one to Jolie, my almost-birthday twin.

That evening, we took a snowy ride along the Virginia Scenic Railway, chugging along on a vintage train car through the Blue Ridge mountains to take in the sights, learn about the fascinating history of the area, and eat a delicious dinner featuring locally sourced ingredients.

Before heading home on Monday, M and I made a little pilgrimage to nearby Natural Bridge State Park. I'd never been before—a fact that blew M's mind—and I was promptly awed by the breathtaking, pristine landscape lightly dotted with snow and fresh ice.

I love that they have rows of benches for visitors to sit and marvel at the bridge in a pattern vaguely reminiscent of a church nave. I think more natural spaces should be treated like the wonderful, sacred spectacles that they are with unobtrusive vantage and reflection points.

On our way back to Richmond, M and I stopped in Harrisonburg for a very silly and important lunch at Chili's with Evan & Jolie. All-in-all, a weekend I'll be remembering for a long, long time.

Top photo credit @le_supper.club

A Week in the Life: April 2026

June 6, 2026

This year has absolutely flown by. I mean, how is it already June?! Though it feels like every week has its own flavor of hectic lately, there are some weeks even more packed than others. This one random week in April turned out to be one of those.

Sunday, April 19

For the past several years, I have been suffering the effects of some kind of witch's curse. It's a very specific type of spell that, luckily, only impacts me in one very niche area: Lake Street Dive concerts. Namely my inability to attend a Lake Street Dive concert. It's not that I can't get tickets! Oh no, I'm allowed to purchase as many tickets as I want. I am cursed to never, ever use them, however. (This has happened three separate times over the past six years, okay...I'm not jumping to conclusions!)

Well, currently knocking on wood as I announce this, but I think it's safe to say the curse has finally lifted. That's right, on Sunday, April 19, I was finally able to see Lake Street Dive at their concert in Charlottesville. I went with my friends Molly and Evan, and it was (almost) delightful! We sat outside enjoying the balmy spring weather at a pretty venue (positive!) that was FAR too small for the crowd LSD attracts (negative). Being jostled in a crowd isn't that unexpected when attending a concert, especially an outdoor one, but apparently our particular spot on the grass was a well-known thoroughfare to everyone but us. (People stomped on our blankets all night as they made bathroom and beer runs, oblivious to the actual path to our immediate left.) Ah, well. Humanity!

Monday, April 20

M and I were invited to present at a local elementary school's Career Day on Monday! Well, we were last minute fill-ins after the people the school actually wanted cancelled or couldn't show. It's alright, though! We can't all be One Direction, and I was glad to be 5sos* for the day to spend some time with our teacher friends and their hyper kiddos. Well, turns out they didn't even want the backups! So, Monday was a pretty normal day that ended early with a slice of Shyndigz' Spotted Cow in the bathtub (IYKYK).

*This joke would've started wars on Tumblr back in the day, btw. I can speak with a sense of authority on the subject bc of my moderately successful midsized fanfic blogging experience during the peak 1D Tumblr era. Harry Hospital One-Shot, anyone?

Tuesday, April 21

On Tuesday, I woke up at 4 a.m. so I could make it to Old Rag for a morning hike with Michael. I wrote all about it already, but TLDR: "God, this hike was hard."

After the hike (aka when my body started shutting down), I had yet another outing. On the same day. On a SCHOOL NIGHT! Little pre-narcolepsy-diagnosis Kate would be so in awe of me right now. Molly, Evan, and I continued our mini streak of concert-going with the St. Paul and the Broken Bones show at the Lewis Ginter Botanical Gardens.

I discovered St. Paul & co. two years ago during a random Wednesday morning NPR radio interview featuring clips from their album Angels in Science Fiction. It has since become one of my favorite albums of all time and it wouldn't be hyperbolic to say their song, "Fall Moon," tangibly improved my life when it debuted last fall, stuck as I was in a (minor) pit of despair.

The show was a riot! Brother Wallace opened and did his best with the most seated crowd I've ever encountered at a concert. (Thankfully, the reluctant bunch sitting on their derrieres in the VIP section did, in fact, stand when St. Paul & co. took the stage.) Y'all, I'm such a sucker for a band with a brass section. My poor legs were wobblier than a two-legged stool, but I was grooving.

At one point, lead singer ~~Saint~~ Paul donned a splendiferously sequined muumuu and waded through the crowd. (I was entirely unprepared for the utter magic of his vocals, btw. I'm a pretty large fan, I'd say, and they still surprised me!) He eventually climbed a ladder—whose origin was no mystery as the lucky roadie who bore it followed Paul from the stage, the bright yellow apparatus thrust over his head like a Home Depot-branded scepter—and Paul sparkled brilliantly in the night sky at the back of the crowd like a great homing beacon beckoning us all to the exits. (It was the final performance of the night.)

I don't remember getting home or falling asleep, although I know I did because...

Wednesday, April 22

"Okay, so you're probably going, "Is this like a Noxzema commercial or what?"

On Wednesday, I had to be up and out before 6am because I was catching the Amtrak to spend a day tagging along on a school trip through Arlington National Cemetery and Mount Vernon!

If you weren't aware already, allow me to assure you: Arlington National Cemetery is f*cking big and there are approximately 1,000 stairs and even more hills, so it's definitely not smart to, I don't know, HIKE a MOUNTAIN the day before you need to keep up with a caffeinated tour guide leading a group of 40 teenagers around the suburbs of Washington D.C.

Okay, hissy fit over. Needless to say, my body was just an eensie weensie bit sore this day. It's probably much better for my recovery that I had such a packed calendar, though, because I fear the tense muscles would've saturated in their lactic acid and hurt much, much worse if I'd spent Wednesday in bed recovering the way I normally would.

Hair was hair-ing that day, for sure

Thursday, April 23

After sleeping for at least 11 hours Wednesday night, I was grateful to have a normal Thursday with minimal plans. It was Richmond Restaurant Week, so Mom and I picked Echelon Wine Bar to try. It's a cute, little farm-to-table place downtown that advertised a delicious-sounding grilled broccoli di ciccio appetizer. Yummy! Sedate vibes, though it was a Thursday night, to be fair.

Friday, April 24

The sedate vibes didn't last very long, thank god. Tessa arrived from Williamsburg after work on Friday and we scooted our way over to Dreamhaus for a show that our friend Corrine sold to me as "feminist gore shadow puppetry." Quickest RSVP of my life, obviously.

This was our first time at Dreamhaus, which is a really cute venue! (I heard a rumor they were on the brink of closure, so I'm glad they're sticking around. The Dreamhaus vibe is vaguely Parisian noir cabaret. That is to say: fun, unique, and very red.) The show was actually a double feature, so once the three of us caught up to the fact that the first act was distinctly not the feminist gore shadow puppets, we were much more on board.

I've been experiencing a bit of a personal puppetry Renaissance lately (a Puppaissance, if you will), and it's really unlocked some fresh creative energy! I have Corrine to thank for that—they brought me to my first ever puppetry slam in early fall and I've been hooked since. (Though, I do owe a special shoutout to my college friend, Miranda, who honored me with the invitation to be her sole guest at the final showcase of her puppetry class senior year.)

There's something ineffably fascinating to me about puppetry's ability to be both blithe and poignant, incredibly simple yet highly evocative, and to oscillate with ease between the extremes. Last week (we're rolling with the blatant anachronism), M and I attended a sound show with my friend Liv. The first act was decidedly postmodern (or metamodern, depending on your particular definition...really picking my battles here) and one of the elements that has stuck with me the most was the band's ability to evoke tangible sensations, thoughts, or emotions through discordant, seemingly nonsensical sounds. Puppetry is (often) a more literal and digestible version of that.

Saturday, April 25

This is one of my favorite pictures of Corrine and I, of late, settling in for a watch party of The National Theatre's production of The Importance of Being Earnest

On Saturday, Tessa and I bopped around some of my favorite antiquing spots in the city. Namely, Class and Trash, Vintage Glass and Pottery in Lakeside, and—a new discovery that has quickly become a standout favorite—Paul's Place. The perfect ending for what turned out to be a Paul-heavy week.

That afternoon, in the pleasantly drizzling rain and before a small crowd of loved ones, two of our friends participated in the time-honored ritual of high camp that is a fake gay wedding. This one was even turned up a notch, though, in that it was a faux gay vow renewal after the initially fake gay wedding that took place 2 years ago.

I adore my friends for many reasons, paramount among them for prolonging the fecklessly abandoned art of play well into our young adulthood. This event was so much more than mere camp, though that would be reason enough for a festive gathering. The two "spouses" are real-life best friends and the vows they wrote and read to each other about their friendship were deeply moving and, TBH, much more feeling than some of the vows I've heard at 'actual' weddings.

C & Z, it was an honor to be invited to celebrate your friendship. May we all take the time to reflect on the vows we owe our most treasured loved ones outside the romantic sphere, and may we continue to queer the hierarchy of value that frames marriage as the greatest endeavor and incontrovertible proof of a successful life.

Kate's Perfect Day 2026

February 14, 2026

If it's February, it's time for another round of Kate's Perfect Day!

Somehow, my chosen birthday celebration gets better every year. I have 0 clue how that's even possible! Proof this year was even more fantastic than last? I have TWO PHOTOS of the entire day. That's it! That's all!

Photo proof number 1:

Like last year, I made my own birthday cake. It's so fun! I jammed to Rusted Root's "Send Me On My Way" on repeat while I was baking—it really made me feel like I was having my main character moment. I went even bigger this year, tackling Sally's three-layer homemade funfetti cake. I made only 1 swap to her recipe: 2 teaspoons of vanilla + 1 teaspoon of almond extract. My loved ones raved about this cake!

Sally means it when she says you need to eat this cake basically as soon as you make it, though—it does NOT keep. I baked mine on Friday morning, frosted in the afternoon, and refrigerated until Saturday morning. I took it out of the fridge ~10:30 and we cut into it ~4pm. It was delectable, although the texture was particularly of note (at least to me). I tried to sneak a bite of it on Sunday night as the last 2 pieces hung out in the fridge and it was stale. You snooze, you lose!

Saturday morning was bright, sunny, and frigid. I was sooo grateful for Evan, Molly, Grace, Cameron, Liv, and Erin who all trekked through tundra winds to have a pancake slumber party breakfast with me and Gravy Boat.

New Person assigned themself chef for the day and was hard at work dishing up blueberry, chocolate chip, and mini M&M pancakes, scrambled eggs, and fried potatoes as I yapped with my friends. (Having a partner who works in food service is definitely a life hack. I have EIGHT cold smoked salmon fillets in my fridge right now #bragging) Soon enough, we'd eaten our fill and decided to play a round (or five) of Peanuts.

Photo proof number 2:

I love my apartment to bits, but it's not really built for entertaining. My friends were such good sports and gathered on the floor around my piano bench to learn how to play the game. It was a hoot! I've never played with such a large group before and the chaos was wildly entertaining.

Peanuts is, basically, competitive solitaire and I've gone wild teaching my loved ones how to play. I taught Jess & Tessa in Maine over the summer, Evan and Jolie while we were camping last November, my grandmother and my aunt over Christmas break...if you can't find me, it's because I'm busy spreading the gospel of Peanuts.

The sole consistent element across three years of observing Kate's Perfect Day is a midday peruse through my go-to bookstore in Richmond. There, I caught up with Michael (I think he uses KPD solely as an excuse to browse their baller "used classics" shelf, no shade), my freshman roommate, Elisa, and her husband, Driscoll! I was gobsmacked El & D made the journey for me—I don't think I've seen them since their wedding!

There's a very niche kind of joy that settles over me when I'm browsing a bookstore and I look up to see one of the people I love most in the world also studying titles and flipping through pages. It makes me feel so contented and at ease, like I know that everyone is exactly where they are supposed to be in that moment.

Tessa joined us at City Dogz—the only place (at least, that I know of) where I can order a vegetarian chili dog. Sometimes, the 21st century IS good! We finally cut into the cake and played a few more rounds of Peanuts after lunch—a much needed lowkey vibe in the rush of energy that is KPD.

We migrated to Mom's house for our final event of the day: make-your-own pizzas and Matilda, one of the most Kate-ish movies ever made. Mom's house is much more suitable for hosting (she has more than 2 chairs, the show-off) and she actually owns a pizza oven (one of the best Christmas gifts I've ever given, tbh). New Person donned their chef hat again and helped Mom stretch the dough and maneuver the pies inside the 900° oven as I caught up with Leah, Harry, Willa, and Katie.

Above everything else, Kate's Perfect Day is one of my favorite days of the year because I get to connect—however briefly!—with the people I cherish most in this world. I've collected my loved ones like art pieces over the years...at KPD this year, I had 2 college roommates; a coworker that has become my older brother; a college friend who started the knitting group that has ignited a whole new obsession for me recently; 2 Richmond friends I met as part of a relatively absurd and wonderful theme-party circuit we all somehow landed on; a friend I used to run around campus and take pictures with for our HONY-style blog; a friend I taught 9th grade English with in New York what feels like a lifetime ago; a couple I met when we worked weddings together for whom I got to take graduation and wedding pictures; a friend my mother still exclusively refers to as "the boy who lives in his car" (he goes camping a lot); a Hinge date that has become a friend; and a Hinge date that has become my lover (shoutout New Person).

I feel so loved, valued, honored, challenged, and bolstered by my friends & family and I know my year will be incredible when I start it with a day that also celebrates them.

New Person took this photo of me a few days before Kate's Perfect Day, but I think it captures the joyful essence of this day perfectly. I felt like this all day on KPD!

26 Hard Things in 2026

January 3, 2026

Here we go again! I felt well accomplished with my 25 hard things in 2025 so why interrupt a good thing?

26 Hard Things in 2026

Read 50 books
Find my mat 26 days in a row
Ride in the RAGBRAI
Go for 26 swims
Have 26 incredible meals
Set an intention for each month
Eat 2-6 different fruits & vegetables each week
Begin (& COMPLETE) 2-6 arts and crafts projects
Observe 1 silent hour every day
Go further north than I ever have before (on this continent, anyway)
Go camping 5 times
Choose the brave path every time
Host 2-6 parties
Go on a retreat
Notice 26 times I'm delighted by/with a stranger
Complete the first draft of the roadmap
No background shows when I'm working
Visit a Buddhist temple
Notice 26 times I didn't let my figs rot
Use my paddle board 2-6 times
Go dancing at least once
Make friends with falling
Redetermine my relationship with my practice
Write & send 26 letters, notes, cards, or postcards
Investigate the pleasure of delayed gratification and restraint
Make pasta at home at least once

25 Hard Things in 2025: A Year in Review

December 29, 2025

A glance back at another year of challenges! How did your resolutions go this year?

25 Hard Things in 2025:

1.Master the alphabet + a basic conversation in ASL — achieved! Though I could stand a refresher/continuous practice.

2. Swim 25 miles — not achieved. I swam 5 miles this year—only 20 off my goal!

3. Go camping 5 times — not achieved. I went camping 3 times in 2025, to Ocracoke with Gravy at Acadia in July, and in Shenandoah National Park in November!

4. Read 50 books — achieved! And I reviewed them all here on the blog, you're welcome :)

5. Feel confident playing 5 songs on the piano — not achieved. My self-perpetuated piano practice fell off after a few months.

6. Take 5 Italian lessons — not achieved.

7. Take 1 solo vacation — achieved! Gravy and I went camping on Ocracoke over Memorial Day weekend.

8. Watch 25 documentaries — not achieved. I watched 6: the Lily Phillips documentary on YouTube; Toni Morrison: The Pieces I Am; Buy Now! The shopping conspiracy; All Light, Everywhere; The Quilters; and My Mom Jayne.

9. Bake 25 loaves of bread — not achieved. I baked 7 loaves this year, though I lost track so it could honestly be more...

10. Do 1 volunteer shift somewhere in person — achieved! I volunteered for 2 opportunities with my alma mater, including speaking at Lavender Graduation to welcome new graduates to the queer alumni association and being part of an alumni panel at Campus Recreation.

11. Try 25 new recipes — achieved! I'm not sure why, but every time I attempt this resolution I stop keeping track of new recipes sometime around 15.

12. Read 3 books in Italian — not achieved.

13. Host a dinner party — achieved! I actually hosted 2 this year: an evening of sushi making for Kate's Perfect Day and my Stanley Tucci dinner party in September.

14. Send 25 letters or postcards — not achieved. I sent 14 letters to pals this year!

15. Find my mat every day — not achieved.

16. Visit my grandfather 5 times — not achieved.

17. Pay off my student loan — achieved!

18. Watch 25 “classic” movies — not achieved, unless you count watching White Christmas eight times this season.

19. Publish 25 blog posts — not achieved. I got really close, though! And I've thoroughly enjoyed reviving this space this year.

20. Forgive myself 25 times — achieved!

21. Go to a fair (ren fair, state fair….) — achieved! I went to the Maryland Renaissance Fair in September with Corrine, Tessa, Sam, and Julia.

22. Visit a lighthouse — achieved! I've actually been to TWO lighthouses this year—a lighthouse in Seattle with Jess and the Portland Head Light in Maine with Jess and Tessa!

23. Discover 5 new places in Richmond — I changed this challenge to: "Whenever I think a compliment about someone, tell them" and I'd say it's been achieved!

24. Shoot + develop 5 new rolls of film — not achieved. So close!! Developed 4 rolls.

25. Go on 25 bike rides — not achieved. I biked far over 25 miles, though! (Including 50+ miles as part of the Cap2Cap.) So I think that counts.

A Chaotic End to 2025

December 24, 2025

It's been a truly wild couple of weeks. Normally when I say that, I mean that I've been busy enough that my apartment is a bit of a mess and I haven't been to the gym in a few days. Both of those things are currently true AND some incredibly hilarious things have happened. Let's see...

I spent the final two weeks of November in Panama, where I shared a room with my mother, who has the unique gift of making my own legendary snoring seem like white noise. My headphones and I have never been closer.

I sadly didn't get the chance to see much of Panama because I had jaw surgery my first week there and spent the rest of the time hiding my face girdle* from the sun and other people. You really haven't lived until you're slumped in a wheelchair wearing a loosely tied babushka that isn't concealing anything as an orderly half your height labors to push you from the hospital recovery ward through a school field trip eating lunch at the food court and then through a business convention of modeling and talent agency executives (hand to god) waiting for their uber blacks in the hotel lobby to deliver you to your hotel room like you're a low-rent version of the Plaza Home Alone sundae.

*This is the password I'll be using with my future children to protect them from kidnappers, btw, because nobody can stomach the phrase "face girdle" unless they really mean it.

I spent the rest of my time in Panama icing my face, working off camera, going to daily PT sessions, and taking my bandages off for the first time to attend a hotel Thanksgiving buffet where the mac n cheese had jerk shrimp in it and the turkey was made out of salmon ceviche (both delish).

The makeup that made me think should I get lashes?

The week I returned from Panama, still bandaged, I presented at an academic conference (!), taught my final yoga classes of the semester, did a special photoshoot in snowy D.C. (freshly un-bandaged, cleared by the surgeon, and professionally dolled up), and went Christmas bar hopping with the new person I'm seeing (!!), their sister, and their brother-in-law.

I knew I'd get along well with New Person's sister when she leaned over furtively at the first bar to ask if I'd be okay with her taking her shoes off so she could sit cross-legged and then, at the end of the night, when she whispered "I love you" in my ear as we hugged goodbye. I started laughing and she immediately turned away with a pouting face to announce to her husband and New Person, "Kate doesn't like me! Let's go home so I can cry." 10/10 commitment to the bit.

Around this time, Gravy & I also moved into my mother's guest room to care for her after her own (non-jaw related) surgery. While I was there, Tessa came to stay for the most Christmas-y weekend ever, featuring a Saturday double-header at the Richmond Ballet's production of The Nutcracker—always phenomenal, the audience outfit-spotting is unmatched—and the Byrd's annual showing of White Christmas. Before the show, we joined in the Christmas singalong led by the theater's massive Wurlitzer organ that ends with (can you guess?) when the most dedicated Byrd employee runs along the balcony, holding the 1988 snow machine out like a relay baton.

On Sunday, Tessa helped me host my Christmas Cookie Open House! The shindig met several of my "good party" criteria:

Hot chocolate was on tap
Nobody shit their pants (to my knowledge)
2 of the 3 former lovers that I invited came
Other people also ate the crab dip so it wasn't just me
There was a Taco Bell delivery
Everyone went home with leftovers!

I cherry-on-top'd the joyous events of my Christmas weekend with a long, luxurious bubble bath, the perfect end to a perfect weekend! In theory.

In actuality, my bath triggered a long series of events that began at least 10 years ago when the previous owners of my mother's house decided to do some DIY home renovation and came to a head when my bathwater started raining out of the kitchen ceiling (someone page Emerald Fennell).

I have no photos related to the flood, so please enjoy Gravel in her rightful place under the tree

And as if that wasn't enough, right around the time shea butter-scented bubbles were cascading down the hood of the stove, I began coughing. Turns out, my friend, we'll call her Patient Zero, was coughed on in the confessional line. Cookie Party, now officially a superspreader event.

My week after that slowly deteriorated into utter madness.

There was my mother, recovering from surgery and unable to do much for herself, working from home, navigating 4 different work crews coming in and out of the house (bc leak), and still finding the time to enter an online auction for an abandoned hotel in Greece (despite somehow never having seen Mamma Mia).

Then there's me, experiencing a fever that reached 102.8 at its highest point, also working from home, also driving back and forth between my mother's house and my apartment so I could pack my suitcase for our impending trip to Florida.

Turns out, I packed like an utter imbecile (bc fever). No bottoms of any kind ended up in the suitcase, which precipitated my wearing of grody sweatpants + a quarter zip stolen from my mother + heeled boots with too-short socks to my hair appointment, also featuring the sweat of a recently-broken fever and very little will to live.

Of course, there was also Gravel, hissing and swatting at Aggi, my mother's elderly Shih Tzu, as the dog tried (and failed) to hop onto my bed for approximately 11 hours a day.

For added ambiance, let us not forget the five (5!) industrial fans blowing at full power 24 hours a day for 4 days straight in the Hannibal set that was our plastic tarp-covered kitchen.

Meanwhile, my hairdresser repaid my inability to schedule more than a week in advance by giving me the Lord Farquaad special just in time for Caroline's rainbow fish birthday party. (If anyone has a tip on where I can buy a hat that can help me channel the mom in the Santa Clause having a breakdown at her son's soccer game when her ex-husband begins to fully turn into Santa and kids are lining up to sit on his lap (is this too niche?), HMU.)

Saturday night, I clipped half my newly chopped hairs back because New Person and I decided to go out for one final date of 2025 before the menagerie that is my household all piled into the car to drive to Florida (where I sit, slumped, barefoot, a little tipsy typing this).

Well, I decided at the end of our date that I wasn't quite ready to bid adieu to New Person yet—who is still new enough that they have yet to meet my mother. I persuaded them to spend the night cuddled up in the guest room with me and drugged-up Gravel (bc car ride) and leave after our early morning family departure. The timing was perfect for their work schedule!

It was also perfect for the universe to continue f*cking with me. My mother—still unable to lift anything more than her Starbucks cup—apparently got bored of watching me fill her CRV with two suitcases, a full laundry basket, two backpacks, a litter box, car snacks, leftovers from the Cheesecake Factory (invaluable), three bags of gifts, an ancient dog in her smelly carrier, a four-foot tall pelican statue, and a cat that, by this point, was high off her ass.

Mom—who, in all fairness, learned how to knock approximately 5 minutes ago and is still rusty at it under the best of circumstances—decided to perform one final sweep of the house to ensure we weren't forgetting anything, including my room.

I now regret for the first time in my entire life that we are an anti-surveillance state family and thus have no Ring cameras or hallway monitors or always-on Alexas to capture the faces of both New Person and Mom when she walked in on them, topless, in her guest bed.

"So, I'm guessing I just met New Person?" My mother peered at me through the fingers still pressed to her face as I walked away from the conquered CRV. My laughter only inspired her shaking head and my own new coughing fit, which was probably the universe's best form of poetic justice short of my pants pooling around my ankles in Wawa. I finally calmed down enough to go upstairs, where I found New Person with the sheets pulled entirely over their head. "I'm never coming out, just so you know."

For the record, I wasn't trying to hide New Person! (And Mom clearly knew about them....) I defy you to introduce me to a person in their right mind that thinks meeting their new girlfriend's mother for the very first time at 4:30am is a good choice! #NoRegrets #ExtremelyReadyfor2026

Huzzah! A Day at the Ren Fair

September 8, 2025

Picture it: England, 1539.

This weekend, I checked another challenge off of my "25 Hard Things in 2025" list by taking a trip back in time at the Maryland Renaissance Festival!

I've never been to a Ren Fair before, so I'm lucky that I have friends with some impressive Renaissance, theater, and LARPing pedigrees to show me the ropes: Tessa is a curator of historic textiles and dress and worked for years as a historic reenactor; Sam is a theater buff and talented seamstress (picture quoting Shakespeare from memory and sewing her own costume); Julia is one of the most well-read people I know, especially when it comes to Medieval and Renaissance poetry, and grew up going to the Maryland festival; and Corrine is a theater professional, playwright, and—the pièce de résistance—spent the first part of this summer working as a Ren faire cast member! They had us in stitches when they adopted their town crier persona to read the official lore of this year's festival on the drive up. (I had no idea so much happened in 1539!)

We visited the festival during Myth & Magic Weekend and tried to dress appropriately. My Celtic-ish coronet was the most overtly themed part of my ensemble, although the dried orange slices hanging from my ears felt vaguely magical(?). Tessa dressed much more on-theme as Strega Nona, replete with her magical pasta pot full of never-ending spaghetti (aka yards of stringy white yarn). Corrine and Sam stitched their own tops, an incredibly impressive feat, and I loved Sam's big purple wizard hat.

Admiring the costumes worn by other patrons is a major activity at the Faire. We saw vikings, plague doctors chasing plague-infested rats, fairies, princesses, knights, barons, wizards, pirates, bananas, centaurs, dragons, serfs, burlap sacks, Fiona and Shrek, and the Pope.

Eating is another major pastime and I was pleasantly surprised by the variety available. We'd been at the festival for maybe 10 minutes before Corrine and I stumbled upon the pickle and pretzel cart. Obviously a walking pickle was in order. The heat was particularly brutal in the sun on Saturday and, as I discovered during the Cap2Cap, pickles are quite hydrating!

Over the course of the day, we also tucked into some funnel cake fries as we watched two fools perform a pantomime, tried to stay cool with ice cream sandwiches and pink lemonade, and enjoyed a lunch of spinach and meat pies, fried jalapeño mac and cheese bites, a scotch egg, and a (quite suggestive looking, might I add) sausage on a stick.

I've been a pescatarian for over 10 years now. Still, there is something quite compelling about the idea of a turkey leg! I was genuinely hoping one of the meat-eaters of our party would enjoy one so I could live vicariously through them, but it was too hot to eat such a large quantity of food. Sigh. Another dream deferred.

There are so many things to see and do at the festival and we only scratched the surface! We caught some of Jacques ze Whipper's midday show, lobbed insults against the King, had our fortunes read by the Mayoress, and perused as many of the adorable shops that dot the landscape as possible. Unlike some other fairs (apparently), Maryland's festival grounds are permanent, meaning the buildings and structures stay up year-round and the shops move in every year. I really like that element because it lends a more immersive feeling to the whole event. I feel like I didn't see too many people on their phones as we walked around, either, which was really nice.

My favorite event, hands-down, was the joust. Challenged by a visiting Andalusian princess, four champions on horseback vied to win a map to El Dorado, the legendary City of Gold. A campy storyline to be sure, but there is nothing staged about the action in the arena when the mounted knights actually compete for the favor of the crowd. Tessa, Sam, & I went hoarse rooting for Prince Miguel. He might've been the contender assigned to our section, but I'm completely unbiased when I laud his undeniable charisma and the enviable fruit of his haircare routine.

Not long after we ended our food tour through Revel Grove with frozen bananas dipped in chocolate and covered with chopped Maraschino cherries, enjoyed while we took in Ses Carny's daredevil knife show, the skies opened up and sweet, cool rain drenched us. It was a welcome relief after such a hot, dusty day on our feet, TBH, and we giggled all the way to the car.

In an ideal world, we would've stayed longer. The shows get bawdier as the day goes on, obviously the weather is cooler, and the final joust of the day is, apparently, a FIGHT TO THE DEATH. Alas! We had a long drive back home to Richmond and we were all pretty pooped. There's a reason the fair apparently gets more crowded in October, when the weather is cooler (although tickets for this weekend sold out after just 24 hours!).

What is a group of tired, hungry, rain-soaked Ren Fest goers to do but seek the nearest stack of pancakes? And so we did!

We were about halfway home by the time we pulled into this IHOP and everyone was extremely normal about encountering four damp sorceresses from the 14th century. I can't explain why, but group breakfast-for-dinner at the end of a singular event (ren fest, choir concert, theater show, tech rehearsal, swim meet etc.) has a unique patina of hilarity, absurdity, and meaning. You can feel yourself creating a memory that you'll feel nostalgia for while you're still in it, you know?

That night at IHOP was like that—the four of us tucked into a slightly too-small booth so we were pressed close together, cupping mugs of tea, tucking into mozzarella sticks, waffles, pancakes, and veggie sausage as we laughed, shared stories, and bantered with the bemused waitstaff. I feel so warm when people from different parts of my life come together and get along like a house on fire...I'm so grateful to know & love such cool, creative, intelligent people!

Maryland Renaissance Festival, I'll definitely be back.

A Weekend in New York

August 24, 2025

In June, I hopped back on my old pal, Amtrak's Northeast Regional, for a long weekend in New York. My friend, Erin, joined me on the train as it passed through Baltimore and we gabbed about how excited we were to be going home.

E & I met when we taught 9th grade ELA together in Manhattan.

She's always had this effortlessly cool energy that makes me feel like her overexcited little sister. Not because of anything she does! She just has this unflappable exterior that exudes a very integral element of chill. It's (part of) what makes her a really fantastic teacher; kids love consistency, and our students knew they could rely on her steadiness even amidst the turbulence of the pandemic.

Erin was already teaching 9th grade ELA at our school when I joined the team, and she was so patient with me, a baby-faced recent grad trying to embody any element of authority in front of the classroom. She made me a better teacher with simple, direct reflections and tips, and her creativity was unmatched when trying to brainstorm ways to engage our students in the books we read with them.

I love gabbing with her about...anything, really, but especially books, contemporary trends in education, and what she's listening to lately. Her music taste is unparalleled, as is her sense of humor. One of my favorite memories involves the two of us laughing literally to the point of tears streaming down our faces while sitting on the floor of my classroom after school. Or the time she literally changed my life when we went to New Jersey just so we could go to the Cheesecake Factory and Erin introduced me to the magic that is their Four Cheese Pasta. (Erin's a lifelong vegetarian—another thing that's just f*cking COOL.) Needless to say, I was pumped to spend the weekend catching up and exploring our old haunts.

Our first stop was Tacombi for piña coladas, esquites, and tacos. It's probably the nostalgia, or the insane price tag, but I feel like I can genuinely taste a difference when I'm eating back in the city. Unfortunately, I am one of those assholes that proclaim the superiority of NYC bagels and pizza dough. (It's the water!!)

On our first night back in the city, Erin & I decided to pop into The Morgan Library & Museum. Neither of us had been before, and it turned out to be a free entry day!

The library is gorgeous, all stained glass and lush mahogany wood, filled to the brim with rich paintings and, naturally, thousands of books. Three of the books in The Morgan's collection are Gutenberg bibles—three! The Morgan is the only museum in the world to have that many copies. It was rather astonishing to come across a copy of the ancient text rather casually encased next to a breathtaking edition of Charles Dickens.

On Saturday, Erin and I made a beeline for old stomping grounds in Brooklyn. We picked up our usual orders from Bagel Pub, took a spin through the Saturday market in Grand Army Plaza, where I sadly did not see my pickle guy (I've been yearning for his wasabi dills since I left the city over 3 years ago), and settled on our favorite bench in Prospect Park.

Prospect Park is one of my absolute favorite places on Earth. My life in Brooklyn revolved around that park. I've been witness to the countless weddings, quinceañeras, memorial services, baby showers, birthday parties, little league games, marathons, pot lucks, open mic nights, frisbee tournaments, dog shows, Bible studies, Mommy & me classes, Tai Chi lessons, roving stand up comedy shows, improv practices, photoshoots, picnics, pick-up soccer matches, & going-away parties (including my own!) held on the regs in the park.

Taking a little walk down Prospect Park memory lane...

Baby Kate's first-ever time in Prospect Park! I think I'd lived in the city for 5 minutes by this point.

I love this photo of me saying goodbye to my friend, Allie, because my face looks like a cartoon character but I was genuinely trying not to cry

Erin & I sat in the park for hours, watching the old neighborhood go by. Eventually, we got up and made our way to the Brooklyn Flea—a Dumbo mecca for all the Brooklyn hipsters. (I had forgotten in my time away that you really can clock the borough where someone lives based on their outfit...sometimes down to the specific neighborhood or cross-streets. Imagine a lineup of tote bags from people that live in Chelsea, Bushwick, FiDi, LIC, and Washington Heights and you'll see exactly what I mean.) We also popped into powerHouse books, where I picked up a copy of Brigid Brophy's The King of a Rainy Country. (Review coming soon—TLDR: WOW!!)

Even though Erin and I once literally walked home from school across the Manhattan bridge (only took us ~4 hours), neither of us are used to how much walking you do by simply existing in New York anymore. We absolutely collapsed upon our return to the hotel room and decided to settle in for a night of scary movies & pizza.

Erin and I returned to the city for another reason besides Prospect Park: we had Sunday tickets to Gov Ball!

I've been to Gov Ball once before—it's where I discovered my undying love for MUNA. Sunday's lineup this year was stellar, including Raye, Clairo, Glass Animals (!), and Hozier (!!). The looming rain (mostly) held off and we bopped for HOURS, noshing on ice cream sandwiches and pierogis. Even the heat, which had been pretty punishing the day before, wasn't overwhelming in the massive crowd.

I know I'm conforming to the stereotype of being yet another non-native New Yorker who lived in the city for a brief stint in her twenties and talks for the rest of her life about being "forever changed" by her time in the city, but.....oh well! I still think about the Miriam Adenay quote I used when posting the pictures from my goodbye party several years ago: “You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart always will be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place.”

I'm not itching to move back to New York, necessarily, but there is something to be said for the first place you get the chance to build your own life completely from scratch as a young adult. It's like your first kiss, first love, first pet, first anything of value—it'll always hold a special place in your heart. And how lucky for me that I still get to visit that love (alongside the people I love)?! I <3 you, New York. See you soon.

Subscribe to: Posts ( Atom )

Pages

SOCIAL MEDIA